Resignation
by stevieLUVSAlex
Summary: Everyone has heard Olivia's side of the story when Elliot left... what about his side... EO shipping. :))
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Everyone seems to know how Olivia feels when Elliot leaves, maybe it's time we all go to see the other side of the story… and don't worry, for you E/O shippers, it'll be a happy ending because I don't believe in sad ones. =)**_

He shot her. He shot _her_. He couldn't even say her name. But he saw her face, every time he closed his eyes, every time he opened them. The image wouldn't go away, her body falling to the floor. The young life suddenly over. How was he supposed to move passed that? Sure, he'd kill before but not like this.

What Elliot Stabler couldn't condone was what he had done to that young girl. Jenna. He had killed her to save someone who didn't even deserve saving. The girl was lost. She was grieving for her mother. She had killed a man, yes, but it didn't warrant more killing. He made a mistake. He had shot her and missed her shoulder. He had hit her too close to the heart. She died cradled in his arms mumbling how easy it was to buy a gun off the street.

It didn't take him long to realize that his own life as a police officer was over. He couldn't go back to work as if nothing had happened. He couldn't pretend that the girl's life wasn't cut short because of what he had done.

He shot her.

Cragen had tried to reason with him, he'd tried to tell him that he did what he was trained for. She had killed a man and was about to kill another. But Elliot was unwavering in his decision to put in his resignation. It was time to close that chapter of his life. He didn't feel like he deserved to work in the police force anymore. He didn't trust himself with a gun.

"You should tell Liv," Cragen encouraged.

Elliot looked lost. "I can't," he said, shaking his head. The idea of leaving Olivia was just too much to take. He was happily married but they'd always been a part of him that had wanted her. A big part. "I just… it'll be too hard. I don't think I can. Could you tell her…"

Cragen nodded. "Call her."

Elliot nodded.

He walked out of the precinct for the last time.

***E&O*E&O*E&O***

Months passed and Elliot became in possible to live with. He drank more and more, visiting the pubs daily, sometimes before noon and downing endless glasses of hard liquor. Scotch mostly. The cheapest they had. All he wanted was to become numb.

Kathy tried to get him into rehab. She tried to get him to talk to someone. And when he refused both, she left him. He wasn't the same man she married. He wasn't the man who had gone to work every day to keep the world safe.

Elliot became more and more dependent on alcohol and when that wasn't enough he turned to prescription drugs and got hooked pretty quickly. He was making decisions that Elliot Stabler never would have. He occasionally went home with some stranger from the bar, and left before she woke up in the morning. He got his own apartment and lived like a pig. He didn't care about himself anymore or his hygiene. His friends eventually stopped coming by until he woke up one day completely alone.

He seemed to sink further into the pit of depression.

Finally he hit rock bottom when he woke one day in a strange town in a place he'd never been with blood on his clothes and his face mangled. He didn't remember a single thing.

It was then that he decided to finally get some help. He checked himself in a detox program and got sober. It was then that he finally remembered Olivia. He hadn't spoken a word to her in two years. He hadn't ever been sober long enough to call her.

The first phone call he made she didn't answer.

Neither did she return his second call after he'd left a message on her cell phone.

Finally, he called Munch.

"Stop calling Olivia," he growled. "She's been through enough. She doesn't need this."

"I just want to talk to her."

"Well, you can't. She's not the same person anymore, Elliot. She's closed that chapter of her life. It's been two years, did you think she was just going to wait around for you to pick up the damn phone. What you did was a lousy thing to do to your partner. We had to pick up the pieces after you left. I'm not going to watch her go through all that again."

"What did I do?"

"You nearly killed her, Elliot."

His chest ached like nothing else. "I didn't know, Munch."

"I know that. But you just can't do this to her, okay?"

"Okay. I'm sorry."

He hung up the phone then, missing his old life, missing everything he ever had. He had always taken it for granted. His friends. His family. His job. And now he had nothing at all.

***E&O*E&O*E&O***

He almost took another drink. He had wandered outside his apartment and ended up in a bar. He had somehow ordered a drink he didn't remember asking for and he sat staring into his glass. He kept thinking about how he had nothing left and how nothing mattered to him. He had nothing to lose, so what did he care if the alcohol numbed the immense pain that washed through every vein in his body.

As he raised the glass to his lips she walked into the bar.

_**A/N: I had every intention of making this a one shot but then I thought about all those lovely reviews and all those people who keep asking for multi chapters… well, you have your wish. Will you say thank you by reviewing? =) *wink***_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: And we are up for another chapter. =) **_

Elliot rotated on the ball stool.

"Liv," he muttered.

Her face seemed to turn white right in front of him. He opened his mouth to speak but Munch and Fin stepped in front of Olivia, blocking his view.

"We should leave," Munch mumbled to Fin.

"Why?" a young Italian man asked. "We were here first. Who's the guy?"

"I'm Elliot."

"Oh."

_What did that mean?_

Fin stepped forward and then instantly stepped back. "Oh man, seriously? You pong. You need a shower."

Olivia pushed her way between Munch and Fin and stood before Elliot.

"Hi, Liv." She looked different somehow. She had grown her hair out and her eyes looked wiser, deeper and she had never looked so beautiful. God, how had he ever walked out on her in the first place?

"Elliot, I- I… I can't do this," she muttered before she fled the bar.

Munch and Fin looked out after her.

"Damn it," Munch groaned. "If she has a setback from this, I'll come after you."

He went after Olivia, leaving Fin and the other young Italian man alone with him.

***E&O*E&O*E&O***

"What did I do?" Elliot asked, shaking his head. He didn't understand how his disappearing act could have affected Olivia so much.

"You're her old partner, right?"

Elliot turned to the young man and grimaced. "I am. Who are you?"

"This is her new_ partner_," Fin replied. The way that Fin said the word partner made it sound like he had replaced Elliot's twelve year friendship. "This is Nick Amaro. He was there for her when her previous partner bailed on her. He was there to watch her back and save her life when they were on the job. Nick is good people."

"Well, hoo ray for him," he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Elliot turned and followed Olivia out of the bar, hoping to catch her.

She was off to the side, her hands on her knees, as if she was having trouble breathing.

"Liv?" he called.

She snapped her head up and looked directly at him.

"Hey," he greeted, stepping closer to her.

Olivia shook her head. "What are you doing here?"

"I was having a drink at the bar, I-"

"I mean _here_. Now. Out here."

"I don't know what to say. I was going to call you. I picked up the phone a dozen times."

"Well, I didn't ever hear your voice on the end," she shot back. "You stink, Elliot. When was the last time you had shower or a shave?"

"I haven't been doing so well. Liv, I…"

"_Don't_," she snapped. "Just don't. You can't do this to me. I am better now. I'm not that person anymore. It doesn't hurt to get out of bed. It doesn't hurt to- I don't want to talk to you. I can't. I just- leave me alone."

Elliot's chest tightened. Had he hurt that much? Had he mattered to her _that_ much?

"I'm sorry. I have to go."

She turned and left him standing on the sidewalk.

_**A/N: I'm going to leave it here… *glances over her shoulder as she walks away* Cruel, I know but so much fun. =) I might have Liv's POV next, if that's okay with you. Feel free to offer your opinion. I'm listening. =)**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to get to you. MY BAD! This one is from Olivia's POV… =)**

**I figured since I had to make you wait… well, there's a nice surprise for all those E/O shippers. Haaaaaaaaaaaave fun ;)**

What right did he have to tell her he hadn't been doing so well. What about her? What about the weeks that Olivia had spent snapping at everyone at work because she didn't a sleep a wink and when she did she had nightmares. Every. Single. Night.

Olivia was seething when she finally managed to hail a cab. Instead of mumbling her address she gave the cabdriver Elliot's address. Olivia had done her research and tracked down his new house address with the click of a few buttons. It wasn't hard for a police officer and Elliot wasn't trying to hide.

When the cab pulled up out the front, she handed the cabdriver a twenty dollar bill and told him to keep the change. She sauntered up to the apartment and pounded on the door. She could hear him moving around inside before the footsteps got closer and closer to the door before he pulled it open. The stench that came out of his apartment was overpowering and Olivia took a visible step back.

"God, El…" she gagged. "That's disgusting. When was the last time you cleaned the place."

"I thought you didn't want to see me," he said, ignoring her comment.

He left the door open and crossed the lounge room floor and collapsed on the couch, laying down with his feet hanging over the arm rests. Olivia walked in, leaving the door open to air out the room. She walked to the windows and opened them up too. Someone had to get the smell out of there. It was putrid, like a decomposing body and Olivia had seen plenty in her lifetime.

Olivia walked through the small apartment, searching every room. It was worse than the last. Lastly, she went into the bathroom and ran the shower, until it was a warm temperature and then wandered back out to the lounge room, where Elliot was, with a drink in his hand.

"Get in the shower!" she demanded.

He looked at her, blinking rapidly.

"Are you deaf?"

"What are you-"

She swiftly moved forward and grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him to his feet, he dropped the drink and it spilt all over the carpet beneath their feet. The glass bouncing on the floor without breaking. What was one more when the whole house was a mess. Olivia would clean it later. Right now, Elliot was her first priority. "Get up, you idiot." She pushed him toward the bathroom until he was only a step away from the water pelting down. "What are you waiting for? Strip!"

A small smile curved his lips.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Get in, Elliot, stop stalling."

Slowly, he peeled the shirt from his body. Her eyes roamed his upper torso. God, he was beautiful. He smiled knowingly and slowly unbuttoned his jeans before wriggling out of them and allowing them to fall to the floor. He stepped out of them, wearing only white briefs.

Olivia cleared her throat and turned her eyes away. "I think I'll leave you to it."

As she turned to leave, he seized her arm and pulled her against him. Her breath caught as she looked instinctively at his mouth. His lips were pink. Kissable. "Where are you going?" he whispered.

"You need a shower," she answered, her voice as low as his.

"So, we can have one together."

Had he just said-?

"Liv…" he said, all his thoughts pouring into the one word he uttered. Olivia didn't need to be convinced. She had loved him for a lifetime. But he was in a bad place and if this was ever going to happen, then she wasn't going to take advantage of him. She wasn't going to sleep with him when he was in so much pain.

"No," she said, shaking her head.

"I want you."

"Not like this," she told him firmly. "I don't want-"

He pressed a finger to lips. "You have never done anything wrong by me." He stepped backwards until the two of them were covered in water. It pelted down on them and when he touched a finger to her chin, lifting it up so that their eyes were level, he finally kissed her.

Olivia had been waiting for this all her life and even if she wanted to, which she didn't, she couldn't find the will to stop. He tasted like sour whiskey and dirt… but there was another taste underneath that, that made her stomach tighten and a moan escape her lips.

As her hands snaked around his neck pulling him closer, she felt his hands removed the wet clothes that slung to her skin until they were both clothesless and gasping for air.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear. "I've always loved you."

Olivia practically clawed at him, pulling him as close to her as humanly possible before she was brought to her knees, figuratively speaking, and begged him to make love to her.

Olivia had everything she ever wanted. But she knew without a doubt that this was only the beginning. Elliot would need a lot of help to get back on his feet and she was the one, the only one, to help him through that and bring him out of that dark world and back to reality.

In the meantime, making love to him was all she wanted.

**I know it's a cheats way out… but this is the end. I hope you liked it and sorry for the wait. Reviews are loved and appreciated. =) *hint, hint***


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